• toniclaremusic

Seeking validation

Do you find yourself reverting to social media, double checking your posts to confirm that everything (yourself) looks good? Maybe a friend has a photo with you on their account, and you cringe every time you witness yourself making that awful facial expression.

Truth be told, people don't care THAT much about you. They don't notice the little details you obsess over. Not that they don't wish to see you thrive -- most do. Believe it or not, people generally seek the good in others before (if they even notice) the flaws.

In order to stray away from the irrelevant mindset of low self esteem, Confidence is key. There are mornings we wake up refreshed and prepared to engage in the day, but other times we feel unmotivated and possibly unworthy in our endeavors.

Here are some reminders that should encourage keeping a consistent, positive attitude:

1. You've heard this before, and it couldn't be more true: the only person holding you back is yourself. You create your biggest fears (out of thin air!). When you do this, you are lying to yourself, therefore, preventing great potential and achievements. All that time could be focused on taking risks while developing your skills along the way -- without the concern of comparing yourself to others or wondering what they think. Keep pushing forward; sustain a personal momentum!

2. Advice when feeling critical of yourself: Take a day to clear your mind. Complete an activity, or hobby, that provides a sense of contentment. This may feel unproductive in the moment, but the re-charge on your mental health is completely essential for your well-being -- which will actually enable you to be more productive!

Afterwards, take a couple minutes to look in the mirror, and attempt to see the person staring back at you through someone else's perspective. What do you think? Can you point out the immediate, admirable features that you see? If you were looking at someone else, would you automatically judge them or find the good qualities? Hopefully, it would be the second option.

Strive to be that person looking back at you -- similar to how you would look up to a role model.

3. Another piece of guidance: Start focusing your attention away from yourself. The body is a temple, so it's imperative to keep it, along with the mind, healthy; however, there comes to a point of self-awareness that becomes vanity. Start performing selfless deeds for others, and the impact of compassion will brighten your life.

Something I have personally tried when I am feeling vulnerable is to be an actor, specifically, on stage. If I am nervous, I convince myself how that idea is false and present an assertive attitude through my actions. Soon enough, I am truly confident on the stage. Nonetheless, I'm not proposing one to play a role that's a completely different person; I'm explaining how to intertwine a confident character with personal qualities.

Writing is therapy for me, and its value extends from helping me to hopefully bringing inspiration to the readers! We're in this journey together -- discovering more about ourselves as we go through life, and I hope you find comfort in these words. Hope you all are staying safe and healthy!

#new #bog #post #covid19 #seeking #validation #deep #thoughts #toniclare #music

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